*Humbling loving world*

So this whole week with being upset and all , things are always placed in perspective one way or another….

Starting with Antares, what Billi calLs “OUR PLANET” which according to scientists is sooo vast and huge (1,0000 light years away), that the human mind can’t even comprehend it, it’s like trying to explain the internet to an ant.

With that, I realize that it is like quantifying love… I feel like you can quantify anger, sadness, envy, pretty much every feeling EXCEPT love…You can’t quantify LOVE I think compassion is a derivative like a cousin of love, so thats why you can quasi quantify that one. BUt, everytime you throw love into the equation it potentially becomes unquantifiable….if you take anything else and take away time, you’d be left with nothing…taking time out of the equation of love it won’t die it remains…it’s something.

It’s like getting a cut…it needs time to heal…if you take time away it’s nothing, it doesnt hurt it wont change its nothing…For Carlos, time is life, but he is dead without time, and in this case literally.

So ANTARES= love

Anyways, seeing these comparisons IS HUMBLING.

it’s amazing!! first OF ALL how as westerners we think we can just compare things. We automatically compare things in order to gain perspective on something, that alone just confusses me, because its such a western way of thinking. Sure planets are planets, but you are comparing them with respect to what? size according to what? color? temperature? How do we know that at 500 light years away there isn’t another fold that makes the planet seem 3 times smaller?

Secondly, we are sooooo tiny!!! ha! Our problems are so small and you know, seeing James/Jack that have to endure the uncertainty of “will i eat food today, or will i have to stuff myself next time in order to make it?” and dealing with the heat outside, I mean, thinka bout it, the weather can simply dictate how good a day they will have, just like some abused wives in South Texas that I was able to help with their legalization. They pray everyday for there to be sun so that their husbands can go to work and they don’t have to deal with the possibility of pissing off their husbands and getting abused. Shelters know that when it rains, they can expect higher occupancy.

We are so lucky, we have so many constants in our lives and safety nets, most importantly, we have love and neverending motivation. i feel dumb when i think of the things I complain about and how strict and exigent i am with the world… when really, there are reasons for everything….why did we meet James at that exact moment when we where walking into the restaurant…would we have met him if I hadn’t found the art deco district in Oklahoma? maybe or maybe not. Would Jake still be looking for food had i not found parking at the cuban coffe place? who knows? BUt, there is a reason, so there is reason why i need to be patient with my life.

Anyways, i THINK i have to start being more thankful for what I have and for the people around me and not complain so much, unless there is something i can do to change the situation…If i can’t, then I need to look back and maybe sit down with the KB people….

thank you universe for LOVE…and for you…and your car for breaking down Nov.1.


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